I need
to impress upon you the craziness in which I was raised. The churches had rules
that I knew were absolutely horrendous and that my parents did not agree with.
These rules we kept while only in public, mostly. The one that my family
adhered to was no contemporary music. Never was I allowed to see the brand new
channel MTV nor could I listen to my radio. In my early years I could have
Christian children’s music and Disney music. I withered inside. As I grew to be
10, I got my own small radio alarm clock and I was allowed to listen to the
oldies station. In the early 1980’s I was listening to the Beatles and Stones,
the Monkeys and Supremes. I loved this music but I was out of step with
everyone around me. When I went to the mall or pizza place with my family the
wonderful sounds I was denied would sneak into my mind and fill me with
curiosity. I’d think, “What was that wonderful sound? Why can’t I listen to
it?”
Michael
Jackson, Wham, and Duran Duran swirled in the background and were ever out of
my reach. I felt like I just wanted to hear and understand the people around
me. I wanted so badly to know more of these sounds. Snatches of musical hook
and lyric phrases drove my curiosity. And yet, I knew my mother would be angry.
I knew that punishment would come.
I stayed
in this state, content with the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s but I learned that liking
this music as weird and uncool. Nobody but me liked Jethro Tull and Smokey
Robinson. No one in my class ever heard of the Kinks or the Bryds. I was an
outsider. When they wanted to speak of their music, I knew nothing of it. They
mocked and belittled me. I faithfully obeyed. Until….
I was
given a car. It had its own little radio and I thought, “I’m old enough to
drive, I’m old enough to listen to whatever I damn well please.” It was then
the 1990’s Green Day and Collective Soul filled my ears and made me feel alive.
Pearl Jam spoke to my pain. I danced to House of Pain and I moved to Crystal
Waters. The sounds I had missed from the 1980’s started to slowly move into my
mind and I could comment on songs and artists I started to learn. Ever since
then, I have had an insatiable desire to learn the music, know my culture, and
live in the now. I found that the music was more than passing entertainment,
music is a passion in my heart and fills me with emotion and joy. Removing it
from my ears, damaged a part of me that was built up by collecting the sounds
that helped me feel. Music soothes and excites my mind and keeps me happy.
Often, I just love to sit and soak up sounds. When friends post music on
Facebook, I feel like a child scooping up pieces of candy. It seems odd, but I
feel connected to the place I live in and the culture that surrounds me.
Fundamentalism
is a way to separate people from what makes them feel alive. When you remove
that which is loved, the victim starts to die a little inside. So, swing by
Hashtag Church Crimes on Facebook and #ChurchCrimes here and drop me a link to
your favorite song. I will reply with what is inspiring me right now.
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