Saturday, July 30, 2016

Coaching Can Help

               I am training to be a life coach. This has shown me very much exactly how much I desire to help people and how completely good at it I really am. However, there is one area that placed in my life bewilderment. Part of the training that I am receiving is asking me to value and talk about my own spirituality. I was triggered. My entire life was all about spirituality and absolutely nothing more. My value used to come from how vacuously spiritual I could be. Spirituality then meant showing up to a large amount of Bible studies, church meetings, inspirational sing a longs, and retreat weekends. It did not mean “valuable internal work of any lasting importance,” despite the fact that so many of the meetings stated that very intention as the reason for gathering. Disheartened from the cruelty inherent in religious teachings, I left religion and felt safety and peace in the arms of atheism. Atheism still represents mental health, lack of manipulation from imaginary beings, and finally learning real truths of science, empirical thought, and sound logical conclusions based on reality rather than fiction. I felt profound relief and solace in a way of thinking that valued me, my mind, and my experiences instead of the opinions of a really petty and angry god that held “sinners” on a thin thread over a “flame.”
               When asked over and over again in the iPEC coaching training program to define my spirituality and what is my satisfaction level with my spirituality, I was deeply upset. I wanted to type FUCK OFF! N/A!! and I am very, very, EXTREMELY satisfied with that!!! But I wasn’t. I knew that I still have a personal internal life that interprets and informs my external life and I must find some healthy way of describing that work and well, actually valuing it. I did what all modern day First World citizens do in any such crisis of identity and educational need, “I googled.”
               At first, I looked at quotes and ideas and this flashed in me a remembered idea. I could not track down the source of this quote but it feels Shakespearean. I still can’t find who said it first, “The mind is the seat of the soul.” In that quote, I found my solace, my spirituality, and my peace. Whether or not there is such a thing as soul, (I believe there is not,) the key to that phrase is that the MIND is where it would reside; it is the MIND that informs it. I love my own mind. I have found out great truths from my iPEC coaching that further removed me from the abusive religiosity of my past, “The answers to all questions lie within,” and “Each of us is greater and wiser than we appear to be.” These messages stand diametrically opposed to the teachings I received at all of those past, spiritually empty, religious activities. In all of those ENDLESS meetings I was told, “You do not have ANY answers within yourself, the ONLY ANSWERS EVER for ANYONE are in this dubious book,” and “You personally are far less and stupider than you appear to be. The folly of God is VASTLY superior to your best idea.” Those iPEC foundational truths healed my damaged past and taught me, “I can do this. I can figure out my mind and make it my spirituality.”
               The heart of my atheist spirituality is that my mental health and the keeping of my precious mind is the most holy act I can perform. Activities that support my own mental health feed a healthy internal life. I can meditate, take a walk outside, participate in mentally soothing hobbies, and vigorously remove all of that which does not serve me.
I will talk to therapists, take vitamins, and any needed medications to support its continued health. I seek to surround myself with people that feed my mental health and wellness instead of drain or worse, damage it. I run from toxicity and abuse. I pursue nourishing ideas and encouragement. I do not seek sycophantic yes people, but true, loving friends that have earned the right to speak real truths into my life out of a place of wanting the best for me. The beginning point of my spiritual health is caring for me.
               The second tier in this new spirituality is valuing the mental health of those around me. Starting with my family and closest friends, I seek to truly do unto them as I seek to have done to me. I teach them to care for themselves as their highest calling and make sure they are fully supported on their journey. I do not abuse or hurt them but only inform their journey. I make sure that those closest to me, my kids and my lovers all feel that they are completely and wholly loved to the best of my ability. I will put their mental health as a primary concern and show them it is of utmost importance.
               The third tier is that I will seek out to provide justice for those that cannot afford or access appropriate mental health care. I will seek to alleviate the stressors that cause them to not be able to focus on the precious internal work they must to do be healthy. This means I volunteer my time at homeless shelters, donate money to charities, and offer free coaching and instruction to those that do not know the way to value their mind as the most important gift they have. I will educate my friends that as Thomas Moore suggested in his book, “Utopia,” the reflection of how well our society is doing is seen in how well our poorest members live. We should seek to make the needs of our poorest a key part of our own mental health and well-being, for in this act of service, we find use and purpose. A mind without purpose is a mind that languishes.
               All people have an internal life. Whether or not they choose to inform it with a foot firmly grounded in reality or in a set of religious tomes, is personal and should not in any way receive harsh judgement. If you have found a path of spirituality that inspires and teaches you, you are a step ahead of many. I only add that any path that seeks to assert itself onto others or intrudes in their experience with a myriad of judgements and condemnation is not a path to enlightenment but manipulation. Each of us is solely responsible for the paths we choose and we need to see it as a completely personal journey. Contact me today at today for 2 free sessions.

Delinski Life Coaching

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