My morality is now completely my own. I have based it on logic and thought. Are you ready? Here it is! “Consenting adults can enjoy sex how they like it in their own lives responsibly” That is it really I am actually sad that I have to spend the rest of this blog unpacking that simple statement.
- 1.permission for something to happen or agreement to
"no change may be made without the consent of all the partners"synonyms:
- 1. give permission for something to happen.
"he consented to a search by a detective"synonyms:agree to, assent to, yield to, give in to, submit to;"she consented to surgery"
I feel sad I have to say, like so many others have been, “no means no.” Rape is wrong because it violates the rights of the victim. No never means yes. Ever. This point is so confusing that the English police have put together this dramatically simple cartoon about consent that any person of any ability can completely understand. Click here for the video. This video explains consent by thinking about when it would be appropriate to drink tea. Stay with me here it actually works. No consent for sex means that sex should not be had. Consensual sex is great fun for all involved.
“Adults.” This point is confusing on a few levels. It has been such a point of contention of when a girl is sex fodder, that several nations have come up with ages of consent. In the UK a child is considered able to understand the ramifications of sex and give consent at age 16. In the US, that age is 18. Anyone over those ages seeking to have sex with someone under those ages is guilty in those countries of statutory rape. Children below a certain age do not understand what they are agreeing to and for a child it is very physically painful to be raped by an adult male. To protect the emotions and bodies of the children, we have agreed upon ages of consent. Anyone caught breaking these egregiously (as in a 19 year old wanting to rape a 7 year old vs. a 19 year old wanting to have sex with his 17 year old girlfriend), are sent to prison for a time and forced to register as a sex offender. As they should be. Sex with children under the age of consent is wrong. I do not know why youth pastors and Catholic priests have confusion about this, but they do. Notably so.
“Enjoy,” the key is here AGAIN all parties having consensual fun. The instant it is not fun for one, it should be over. Thus all the agreement on safe words and all that in all BDSM communities. No one should suffer things they do not want to suffer.
“How they like” Man on man. Woman on man. Woman on woman. It does not matter. If the above terms are met I don’t care which genitals show up. The number of straight men that like anal sex is pretty conclusive that anal sex is not an abomination. So. There ya go.
“In their own lives.” AGAIN. Live your life. Go about your business. Get out of other people’s lives. They aren’t having sex in your bedroom so get over yourself. Do what you see fit in your house and I’ll do what I see fit in mine.“Responsibly” Don’t have babies when you aren’t ready for them, use birth control. Don’t spread disease use condoms and dentals dams. Get tested as needed. Keep in mind that if you are a more sensitive soul, random sex could cause confusion and emotional difficulty. Know ahead of time, “Are we starting a relationship or is this a roll in the sheets?” Tell your partners your intent clearly. I’d argue it is just as irresponsible leaving a string of hurts and broken hearts as it is having a mountain of children you can’t care for. Christians are often pushed into rabid child rearing that they can neither pay for or emotionally handle, but they are forced by The Church to see procreative sex the only godly sex. This has left miserable, hungry, and sad families as much as it has spawned loving ones.
I have no idea why this is so hard and why so many Christians are now screaming that I am an immoral slut doomed to hell. I’m not. I’m normal and healthy. Get over yourselves for once in your life. Free will is a thing and I am living mine safely and carefully out. Yes. I have thought about the children. See paragraph 3.