Pastor Blog 2.

            I love the dictionary. In my long years attending Bible Study Fellowship, I was taught that the dictionary could help us start with a clear understanding of what words mean so that we can speak about them cogently. It is a habit that I have come to love as an atheist. My skeptical mind wants you to notice what is NOT referenced in that definition. There is not one mention of sexual behavior or any appeal to a deity or ancient tome. In fact, there is only a communal understanding of what right and wrong and agreed upon. The implication is that each person knows and can see what is right and wrong and that the society at large in the form of social constructs and laws have agreed together what is morality. My personal definition, and one that agreed upon by very many, is that moral behavior is that which seeks the improvement of my life along with the improvement of the lives of those around me. The improvement of my life will not impair the improvement of the lives of those around me. My pastor friend has chosen the second of my questions to answer. He has written a blog about it here. 

            In this question, I wanted to know why Christians are really obsessed with behaviors that DO NOT impact society at large, least of all them INSTEAD of focusing PRIMARILY on the sheer number of people starving in our society, let alone ENTIRE GLOBE, every single day. Social ills in the world that actually are causing harm are copiously absent from the majority of the average believer’s timeline. (I have some really lovely notable exceptions to that rule and I love you people.) The average Christian these days is posting about the horror that is women using the women’s room in Target. Here is his response to that. I had to sit and stare in wonder at the levels of ignorance and pride in this answer. I’ll let you see what I saw,

            Why do Christians care about which bathroom a transgender person uses?

I can think of a few answers to this one:

1. Christians and other religious people tend to be more concerned with privacy and modesty than the general population. This comes from our emphasis on sexual purity. Granted, Christians have done a terrible job of consistently upholding the lessons of the faith regarding sexual purity. Our hypocrisy on this topic is great.
2. Christians highly value submitting to the will of God. Many Christians believe that a person who embraces a gender other than their biological sex has chosen a path of rebellion against the created order. The conservative Christian opposition to the LGBTQ worldview is partially based on a commitment to biblical sexual ethics, but it is also based upon a commitment to the “natural order” of creation.
3. Christians in America are frightened by a world that is growing increasingly secular particularly because the past 400+ years of life in North America has been very favorable to the Christian worldview, and the prospect of losing the privileged status of Christianity is threatening. There is a religious reason for this fear, and I will address it below as well.
4. Most of all, Christians believe that the morality taught in the Bible is not just commanded by God but beneficial for humans. Therefore, Christians draw the conclusion that when a society displays biblical morality, everyone wins overall. However, this attitude has caused two related problems. First, Christians often feel as if we must act as the moral police in our world. Secondly, Christians have failed to treat all moral issues equally, and have put undue emphasis on certain moral issues ignoring others.

As a result of these four things, Christians feel that normalizing transgenderism violates God’s created order, blurs the lines of modesty and privacy, threatens religious freedom, and will cause societal harm that must be spoken against.

            So far, I have some lovely reasons for why Christians should not engage in these behaviors, but has offered no reason why a non-Christian should act like Christians. He has said that Christians fear consequences and that there is societal harm. He fails miserably at saying what those consequences are and what He makes vague allusion to the “created” or what he means is “natural” order. He does not say what societal harm or privacy violations there are when women use the women’s bathroom. But boy there are some wide open barn doors in even this reasoning. The Christian might be able to swallow this pile of fecal matter from the great almighty, but I have lost the capacity. I will start with the natural order of this world. I love how Christians talk about the animal kingdom and the peg and hole designs of our bodies as proof that their god has shown us how to behave and what is good. When this argument appears in my life, it is like Saturnalia has come early and that lovely pagan god dressed in red, has gifted me with a big yummy present under my penis praising Saturnalia tree. Here is a link to 12 animal species that change sex in the absence of a certain sex. It just happens to them. In the course of their lives they are born either male or female and because life happened to them, they found themselves the opposite of where they started. According to nature, this is absolutely normal and not anything to be startled about. Or how about these 1,500, yes ONE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDREND, species that practice same sex acts to resolve disputes and because they seem to like each other. The article states that pairs of male dolphins can staytogether for years. Of course what you do not see very often in the animal kingdom is straight, life-long monogamy. This article states that only 3-5% of all animals practice life-long monogamy. It seems that if we look to the natural order, sex is something that is dependent on each individual and not a group dynamic. Apparently, giraffes love to be gay and exhibit more homosexual behaviors than hetero ones. So, that whole, “natural” or (gags on this term) “created” order of things is pretty much empty hollering. In fact males do have holes for other males to interact with and ALSO a known fact that there are some Christian women that LOVE anal penetration, but seeing as their anuses  are more… ahem…. “holy” ….. (snort) the godly spouse can penetrate that without fear he likes anuses…. I mean, men.

            But when have Christians been concerned with reality? He goes on. There is a lot of Bible verse quoting and apologizing for not being loving and the fact that Christians break these rules a lot but he ends here (Do remember I posted a link to the entire article.) Skipping a bit, I pick up here with his conclusion:

            So to conclude this point about modesty, privacy and sexual purity, Christians give these issues a great deal of attention because sexual immorality is a grievous sin for those who would follow Christ, and living in a modest society will be a spiritual benefit to everyone in it. However, Christians are at fault for giving these issues too much airtime while ignoring other sins like greed and slander and for judging the unbelieving world by a standard that was only supposed to apply to other believers.

This all helps to explain why Christians are opposed to transgenderism, but it doesn’t give an excuse for how they have opposed it.

The concern for submitting to the will of God is another key motivator for Christians opposing transgenderism and the sexual ethics of the LGBTQ worldview. Granted, there are some church traditions that embrace the entire LGBTQ worldview, but conservative Christians still reject it on the grounds that (1) the Bible opposes it and (2) natural law opposes it. Nevertheless, both of these grounds are actually the same at heart: the desire to submit to the will of the Creator God. The only reason to obey the Bible is to submit to God’s will, and the only reason to value natural law is to honor the Creator.

Christians therefore oppose the LGBTQ worldview because it is incompatible with submission to our Creator.

            Apparently our “Creator” wants us to be gay and polyamorous, but that is me actually looking at real nature. Not the nature that came off of the fairy land Noah’s ark boat in Kentucky. I need proof that living in a modest society is a spiritual benefit. The proof that I see is that the strict adherence to Judeo-Christian sexual standards is completely really bad for people. More on this later.

            He then talks about how “bad” “secularist” governments are. See, he is very confused. I will cut and paste:

            The fear of a secularized society is another motivation for Christians to oppose the current culture shift. Christians who are committed to the sexual ethics of the Bible are growing more and more aware that living in a secular society will demand they compromise their beliefs in public life or face ostracism when they hold their convictions in public life. So far, North American Christianity has experienced a level of religious freedom unmatched in the history of the world. There has been no moral command in the Bible opposed by American society until recently. Now, though, the society is embracing a sexual ethic that is directly opposed to the teaching of the Bible, and Christians are scared of the consequences.

As I said before, there are real reasons for this fear. One reason for this fear is that religious persecution has been around for nearly forever, but historically, it has been the worst in those societies that fully embraced secularism. Whether you are talking about Soviet Russia, North Korea, or China in our modern day or Rome of old (Yes, despite the Roman Pantheon, Rome was a very secularized society), Christians have always faced intense persecution in secularized societies. Another reason for this fear is that it will make difficult what Christians consider their “Great Commission” the spreading of the good news of Jesus to others. Yes, in a fully secularized society, Christians are afraid that it will be more difficult to share their faith.

            Oh this is just adorable. He is correct in that these governments are “secular,” but what he also fails to notice or see is that they are mainly “Authoritarian.” Authoritarian dictatorship was done by Christians first and best during the middle ages. Catholic Queen Isabela was the best example Authoritarian leadership. If you did not like or agree with her Catholic only rules, you could go enjoy the comfort of her Spanish Inquisition. The issue with those evil governments was not that they were secularist, (Dear Jeff, America is a secularist government) but rather that they were Authoritarian and did not allow for other points of view. Secular atheist governments like the ones found in Scandinavia are reporting high numbers of health and happiness and very low numbers in crime and despair. This quote underscores that separation of church and state is not new, but rather it was the cornerstone of our government. Here is a litany of quotes about how secular America is supposed to be:

“The Government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian religion.” ~1797 Treaty of Tripoli signed by Founding Father John Adams”

“I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibit the free exercise thereof, thus building a wall of separation between church and state.” ~Founding Father Thomas Jefferson, letter to the Baptists of Danbury, Connecticut, 1802”

“In every country and in every age, the priest has been hostile to liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot, abetting his abuses in return for protection to his own. It is error alone that needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself.” ~Founding Father Thomas Jefferson, in a letter to Horatio Spofford, 1814

“Every new and successful example of a perfect separation between ecclesiastical and civil matters is of importance.” ~Founding Father James Madison, letter, 1822

“When a religion is good, I conceive it will support itself; and when it does not support itself, and God does not take care to support it so that its professors are obligated to call for help of the civil power, it’s a sign, I apprehend, of its being a bad one.” ~Founding Father Benjamin Franklin, letter to Richard Price, October 9, 1780

            I don't want an "atheist government". I'm not even sure what that would look like. I want a *secular* government. I want my government to keep the hospitals running, the roads in good condition, make sure the garbage is collected, govern economic policy, implement law and order, and when they set laws and pursue social policy I want them to do it based on solid evidence, not on a faith I do not share or reference to scriptures which, when not viewed through the lens of that faith seem archaic and scarcely relevant. I want a government that doesn't see it as their business to tell people what they can and cannot believe. That is not, nor should be, what government is for.

            This is, as far as I know, what pretty much every atheist I have ever met wants out of their government too. When Christians cherry pick Stalin or Pol Pot as their examples of "atheist" government, I take that as a slight to my character. It would be far easier to take Christian critiques of atheism seriously is they addressed atheists as they actually are instead of demonizing and othering them and turning them into childish bogeymen.

            If they want to know what kind of government atheists want, even if it's only for the purpose of criticizing it, perhaps they should try researching atheists' writings on the matter (of which there are plenty) and engaging with them and asking pertinent questions instead of uncritically accepting the frankly insulting propaganda preached to them from the pulpit.

            In fact, in all cases, a secular government is absolutely the best option. The fear that Christians have in finding out other people’s values are as important to them as Christians values are to Christians is they losing the special privileges they had heretofore enjoyed. Christians are not losing any rights at all. Authoritarian systems are completely broken and need to stop. I can’t help but to think that Christian families and on too many levels, conservative churches are run just like little authoritarian governments. Authoritarian leaders are damaging leaders. The fact that he thinks that a secular government lead by people who did not inject their religion into everything would be an evil government is a personal insult not only to me as an atheist, it is an insult to the high American ideal of a completely free civil government that meets the needs of the people so that they could be free to worship or not worship as they chose. Dear Christians, women using the women’s restroom is not an issue that takes away any of your access to any restroom you choose, metaphorically and literally.

            I would now like to speak out the unending damage done by Christians and churches, divorce and marriage, and the mind raping “Purity culture.” But first, a word from our pastor friend,

            Okay, you caught us. North American Christians are selfish. We are hypocrites, and we haven’t solved the biggest problems in the world, nor have we spoken out as loudly about global poverty as we have about homeland sexual ethics. But do not conclude that Christians don’t care about the big problems in the world. In fact, a great argument can be made that Christians are almost always the first to care about the big problems in our world. 

            Now, I do not want to down play the list of nice things Christians have done through the ages and are doing today. I just wonder where all that charitable taxable money is going. Right now, this article, is saying that $30 billion a year is needed to end world hunger. This link says that in 2014 $114 billion was donated to churches. So, it is true that Christians are leading the charge on donating money, but where in the useless name of their ridiculous god is it going? We are talking about less than 30% of their annual budget eradicating WORLD HUNGER. I see that Clear River built a new church they are in debt to the bank to finish, Faith Church is planning yet another church building improvement, and what do these pastors actually make a year anyways? But don’t worry, while this incorporeal god needs a fancy pants house whose doors are locked to the down trodden, people are starving in the streets. It is all good. Thank you Christians for all that tithing you do! I can see the difference every time I drive past your ridiculous edifices.

            But you are correct. Atheists do need to donate more money. These famous people can’t carry us all, but they are the most famous philanthropists of our times. They are also atheists. Also in our very heavily “everyone claims Christian on their stupid census paper,” country, finding people who claim Christianity and donate isn’t hard. The question is where is the money going?

            Back to the harm done by this OVERFOCUSING on sexual morality versus morality. A word from Jeff:

            Conclusion

Therefore, the best way to answer the question is this:

1. Christians have legitimate biblical and moral reasons for opposing the societal acceptance of the LGBTQ worldview. (That word legitimate. I do not think it means what YOU think it means.)
2. Christians have frequently done so in an improper fashion, offering more judgment than love and overemphasizing sexual morals. (I am going to address the ridiculous damage that has done next.)
3. Nevertheless, Christians have not allowed that issue to distract them from the humanitarian causes that have been at the core of Christianity for centuries. (Numbers do not lie. Where is the money going Jeff? They give a LOT OF MONEY and you listed charities. But you and I both know that the money is going to the care and keeping of church houses and… well… you.)
4. Still, they tend to get the most vocal over societal moral issues which leads people in the non-Christian world into thinking that we care more about people’s morality than about their dignity. (It is the shrill screaming and the RFRA discrimination laws that keep getting passed. Also our illustrious Christian governor took away money from preschools and women’s health. Far be it from me to get confused.)

Christians have at times failed to speak about what is most important, but we have, with a few exceptions, led the way in almost every area of humanitarian concern.

            I left Christianity. My mother told me that she and I had nothing of importance in common anymore and because I had slept with my now fiancé Ross Balmer and am also an atheist, I “have no morals to speak of.” She yelled that last bit to my face in the door of my ex’s house where she lives. She yelled that to me in front of and in the hearing of my children. “Mommy what does Nanny mean by that?” Oh nothing kids, it is grown up stuff. I have morals, Nanny is struggling right now. Abuse and PTSD. I spend a lot of time in the groups that cater to ex-churched people. Some of these people are still trying to cling to Jesus and some are walking away. I have left mythologies completely behind.

            Christians are so completely out of touch with what morality is and isn’t they go around like pious children asking questions like these “Is a husband selfish for having sex with his wife when she is not in the mood?” and getting the answer that “….a Christian wife should never give her husband a flat no, BUT she can humbly and gently ask for a delay. There may be legitimate physical or mental issues that might prompt your wife to ask you for a delay.  But this must be done humbly and respectfully, and always with the attitude in mind that her body does belong to her husband.” All of this is taught from pulpits and makes women completely powerless in their lives. A Christian woman’s no does not mean no. Which leads to this mess: 

“’Rape culture,’ as young feminists now call this, isn’t limited to India. It lives anywhere that has a “traditional” vision of women’s sexuality. A culture in which women are expected to remain virgins until marriage is a rape culture. In that vision, women’s bodies are for use primarily for procreation or male pleasure. They must be kept pure. While cultural conservatives would disagree, this attitude gives men license to patrol—in some cases with violence—women's hopes for controlling their lives and bodies. In October, responding to Richard Mourdock's incredible comment about rape, I mentioned an absolutely essential piece by The Nation's Jessica Valenti in a way I want to reprise here, if you'll excuse the self-quotation:  

            As Tennessee Senator Douglas Henry said in 2008, “Rape, ladies and gentlemen, is not today what rape was. Rape, when I was learning these things, was the violation of a chaste woman, against her will, by some party not her spouse.” In other words, only virgins can be raped—sweetly white-gloved, white-skinned virgins. Any woman who ever wanted sex—yes, that includes married women who unconditionally give permission when they put on that ring—deserves what she gets." 

            This is the ugliest side of the Christian Authoritarian movement. If we follow that Christians’ “legitimate” concerns for a society being run opposite to what they see as important in terms of stopping LGBTQ and focusing on Christian marriages looks a lot like an agenda that is known to be psychologically scarring and permanently damaging. Religion prohibits things that people are going to do anyways like eat certain foods and have sex, then when they break these prohibitions, they need to go back to the religion for forgiveness. when we step outside of religion and embrace normal, healthy, clearly natural, human sexuality we are confident and no longer in need of going back and groveling to the religion for forgiveness. Purity culture keeps people in shackles of fake sins and thus keeps the religion alive while killing the members in psychological torment and self-doubt. This obsession with who is sinning and who isn't inculcates a cycle of obsession through false piety (IF I follow this rule, I am pious), the guilty, thrilling pleasure of breaking this rule (I think I can get away with keeping this secret); and finally the release of false guilt by admitting the fake sin to the church (I can be free from my addiction.) When you remove the prohibitions on normal, healthy, sexual behaviors, you remove this weird addictive pattern. We see this is mostly Christian states where churches are the loudest groups and marriages all have god in them. This article talks about the church’s embarrassing porn issues. That link is from Christianity Today, not "Atheists are us." Seems those Christian marriages are not as happy as they report on surveys. You see, Christians are taught to lie because if they do not lie, they have to go through reprogramming in the form of counseling with the pastor. Lying about the reality of the situation lead to this child keeping her sexual abuse a secret because she felt guilt and shame. When she finally did step forward with what was happening, she was scorned as a temptress and it was further rubbed in that her stepfather was blameless in these moments. Now, at this point, you are saying how rare and awful this is, how unheard of in our church circles. I tell you that isn’t at all true. In 1998, when I was 21 and about to marry my fiancé, Don Whipple of Kossuth Street Baptist church in Lafayette, Indiana told me in his office, “Now Karen, there is no such thing as rape in marriage.” I have told that story many many many times, everyone plays it off or ignores it. That man gave that advice out for decades and did not stop. In 2016, when a friend I’d had for years, wanted to tell me about her divorce in 2014 and how Don Whipple had counselled her and her ex in his office, he looked at her and said, “Now ‘Ana’ (name changed), you know there is no such thing as rape in marriage.” How many women do you think suffered in silent hell repeating his words over and over in their minds? How many men got a free pass to just ill use their wives and rape them whenever the mood hit? This is not in some place we don’t know with people we can’t ask, what crimes does Don Whipple have on his hands, personally? Rape in marriage is not some fringe outer Christian fundamentalist view, it is the NORM. I turn to you Jeff Mikels and say, “As a secular humanist with the best interests of actual people on my heart, what are the Christian’s legitimate concerns for homosexuals to openly marry? My attention is now taken up with all manner of legitimate concerns for Christian women in Christian marriages.”

            My sexual morality focuses on consent. Please refer to my definition of general morality. My life improving should not impede or damage the improvement of other people. So, I will never rape another living soul whether I am married to him or her. I will always seek consent and what happens between consenting adults who are happy and enjoying themselves has absolutely no consequences on my life at all. I do not understand what you mean by, “Christians fear the consequences of a society that accepts the LGBTQ community.” I fear the consequences of having women I work with broken down by nightly raping from their godly husbands. My fears are validated as it seems that depression and mental illness seems to be on the rise in the Christian culture. This article sites a study that was conducted thusly: “Entitled ‘Spiritual and religious beliefs as risk factors for the onset of major depression: an international cohort study’, the relationship with religious and spiritual belief was investigated in depth by researchers led by Professor Michael King from University College London. Over 8,000 people visiting general practices across seven countries were followed up at six and 12 months. The general practices were in the UK, Spain, Slovenia, Estonia, the Netherlands, Portugal and Chile. These general practices covered urban and rural populations with considerable socio-economic variation.” And that found this: “People who held a religious or spiritual understanding of life had a higher incidence of depression than those with a secular life view. However, this finding varied by country; in particular, people in the UK who had a spiritual understanding of life were the most vulnerable to the onset of major depression.” 

               So, after digging through all of these articles and statistics, Jeff, my concerns are more founded and real than yours. There again, you never really said what your concerns were about happily married people living in your neighborhood and walking their dogs, did you?

Pastor Blog 1

              A few weeks ago, a friend of mine posted that her pastor was hosting a Q&A at his church. I have been asked to leave churches because of the questions that I have, so I submitted the largest of my questions about faith on the church’s invitation. It is truly interesting and telling to me that the pastor will not be dealing with my questions in his church, but here in a blog to blog format. It seems that again, my questions have the potential to deconvert people so, heaven forbid I be invited to actually set foot in his church and discuss these in front of his congregation. So, I respectfully am responding in kind. He demurred my willingness to attend his church for as long as answering my questions took and wanted to respond in this manner. The first question of mine that he attempted to tackle was this:

            “If God is really true, why do we have all the child indoctrinating and the weekly meetings to rub in the truth? Do we have to have a weekly “gravity is real” club or “let us be thankful for photosynthesis” club? If he were as real as all that, why the endless Bible studies and services ad infinitum? Why are you necessary, Pastor?”

            I was most certainly driving at the fact that truth is really apparent and because religious god faith is not true, indoctrination is needed to keep up blind faith, and as you see, I argue that a reinforced blind faith is bad for humanity. His responses are in italics and the full article that he wrote, can be found here. 

        If God is really true, why do we have all the child indoctrinating and the weekly meetings to rub in the truth? Do we have to have a weekly “gravity is real” club or “let us be thankful for photosynthesis” club? If he were as real as all that, why the endless Bible studies and services ad infinitum? Why are you necessary, Pastor?
The original commenter on our facebook post asked me to address this question first. On the surface, this seems like a fairly simple question to answer, and I’ll start there first, but there is hidden inside this question a couple more difficult issues. 

The Easy Answer

First, my easy answer is in this syllogism:

• If something is true, it is something that can be taught.
• ANYTHING CAN BE TAUGHT WHETHER IT IS TRUE OR NOT.
• If something is not innate, it is something that must be learned.

.If something is important, it should be taught.

• Knowledge of God is not innate.
• If God is true, knowledge about him would be important.
• THEREFORE: If God is true, knowledge about him should and must be taught.

That amazing, tiny, wonderful word “IF.” See that is at the heart of my question. Gravity is something that we all innately know about, we know that we don’t fly off the planet, but we don’t grow up knowing why until someone says, “The force called gravity holds us in place.” Thanks to the hard work of scientists, gravity waves have been found real and their effects measured. God is not innate knowledge and nothing about it can be proven. You can say, “God made gravity,” but there is not one shred of evidence that will allow me to believe this. However, proof of “e=mc²” has been confirmed in the discovery of these gravitational waves and what they do. It was a huge landmark find. What they did not find were gods. There for AGAIN, the “IF” was not verified and still dangles on as more and more scientific processes are found. We keep looking for why things happen and true scientists are open to the answer that “gods did it,” but it seems that faith-filled thought has only been a placeholder for the knowledge they keep finding. The hypothesis “gods did it” keeps failing under all sorts of scrutiny. So, not only are gods not innate, but they aren’t being verified as true, yet. Not even a little. In fact, when Galileo started the ball rolling, so to speak, the church was appalled and the pope put his fingers over his ears, choose the faulty hypothesis because it was in the Bible, started singing, “LALALALALALALALA;” and then arrested Galileo. Later they killed Giordano Bruno for refining that theory but in typical churchy fashion apologized to a dead Galileo. Giordano can rot. The church had put forward a hypothesis “Our God did it and the world is flat.” Science said, “This is so cool! Turns out it is round and the sun is at the center!” The church chose blind faith and hundreds of years later had to apologize. Is that example too old? Let us go over to the east side of Lafayette, Indiana where NANC has been spreading its version of “mental health and counselling services.” Back 20 years ago when Steve first started his pastoral position after the venerated “Gould” had retired, I attended a church service at Faith “Baptist” (you can take the word out of the name but you can’t take it out of the people), I was told from the pulpit that ADHD and Manic Depression (properly called Bipolar Disorder or BPD) were excuses to behave badly in sin and that people who were addicts were easily treated by telling them to stop in Jesus’ name. Steve Viars personally has blood on his hands as he has encouraged people with these disorders to stop taking their meds. “Oh wait,” you cry out, “You can’t name names like that?! Steve is a respected part of this community and a good pastor.” Quite frankly I say, “Why?” “Why not?” and “No he isn’t” I know many people that think for the betterment of Lafayette, Indiana he needs to stop and other churches need to tell him to, but I digress. Will Faith ever apologize to those people? My bet is they will deny these families even exist. “Maybe in a few hundreds of years when the true state of Mental Health is really really proved and Steve can’t be embarrassed on account of the fact he is dead.”

            Of course, people might debate me on the specific points of this logical argument, but I think it is sound and valid. However, the original question did not refer to the simple passing on of knowledge alone. The original question referred to the continual passing on of that knowledge, the continued reinforcement of that knowledge. The original question refers to gravity and photosynthesis as items that can be taught but are not worthy of weekly meetings praising their truth. The original question could be reworded to ask this: “If God is true, can’t we just be taught about him once and then get on with our lives?” Or “Why do I have to go to church?”

            I never said scientific facts weren’t worthy, I said that once you know them, it is apparent and the learner needs not to be constantly reminded to remember gravity is real, “Here, let us sing our ‘gravity is real’ song, AGAIN.” Once the concept is learned and demonstrated, it does not need revisited in the exact same point. How many times in the course of my 38 years of church attendance did I hear the same things about your god over and over and over ad nauseum? It was not at all that we found some heretofore unknown or undiscovered information like my above example of “e=mc².” It was, in fact, “All we can know about God is in this book. New information is to be shunned and compared to this book. If it does not comply to this book, it isn’t real. If it does comply to this book, it is real and can be accepted, but in that compliance is actually not new.” It wasn’t that we were seeking new information it was that we were rehashing and repeating for the purpose of indoctrination. “What is indoctrination?” you ask. Merriam Webster defines it thusly, “Indoctrinate : to teach (someone) to fully accept the ideas, opinions, and beliefs of a particular group and to not consider other ideas, opinions, and beliefs.” The way this is done in churches is through the afore mentioned, “blind faith.” Here is what the YouTuber known as “TheraminTrees” says about Faith: “Faith: the perfect system for protecting lies. Faith demands that we disregard: a. absence of expected evidence b. presence of conflicting evidence How do we detect lies? a. absence of expected evidence b. presence of conflicting evidence”
               When you are conducting honest inquiry, you do not start from a position of already having accepted the conclusion. You certainly don't start from a position of faith, the intellectual equivalent of digging one's heels in. You start from the null hypothesis When you are conducting honest inquiry, you do not start from a position of already having accepted the conclusion. You certainly don't start from a position of faith, the intellectual equivalent of digging one's heels in. You start from the null hypothesis, which is the lack of belief in any positive claim that has not been properly demonstrated to be true. In effect, you pretend you had never heard of this "God" before, then somebody made the claim "God exists", and proceed from there to look for evidence to support this statement in the world. If you cannot find adequate evidence, the honest position is to withhold belief. In the case of God, nothing that has been posited as evidence of God withstands scrutiny. Religion knows this, hence it promotes faith as a substitute for evidence and frequently does whatever it can to insulate and inoculate adherents from contradictory knowledge. It is not enough to say that God is comforting, good for society or otherwise desirable (all of which I would dispute anyway), none of these things speak to the truth of the matter and they are all rendered hollow if it is not true. 
              Skipping on a bit, after my pastor friend tells a story about learning scientific fact, method, and implication, he says this:

            “Now, here’s where the analogy connects back to the knowledge of God. The knowledge of God isn’t a fact without implications. It is a worldview and a method for how to live life. Those who would accept the affirmation (Re: Hypothesis unproven) “God is true” must also accept the implications of that worldview, and the continued study, meetings and gatherings are simply to help those people refine their understanding of those implications and to support them as they attempt to live them out.

            The theist who never hangs out with other theists talking about their faith is like a scientist who never interacts with another scientist about their science.

            Interesting words Faith and Science. A scientist never relies on faith when testing a hypothesis or whether or not his equipment is functioning. He or she runs copious tests on his or her equipment and works hard to know for fact it functions so that he or she can absolutely know that his or her outcomes are correct. There is no faith involved. In fact, by definition, faith that his or her pet hypothesis or idea is absolutely correct would absolutely be the biggest weakness he or she has in her laboratory. It would reject all other outcomes and possibilities because they did not align with the faith that was had by the scientist in question. When a group of scientists come together, they share findings based on evidence. They make sure that none of them are biased in the way that I describe. They accept properly tested findings after they are submitted to what is called a peer review. Even if those findings fly in the face of everything they knew before. Because, when an hypothesis is properly tested, it is validated as either true or not true and it changes the entire community moving the entire community forward with it. The face of the entire discipline changes and because there is concrete evidence that is undeniable.  Ultimately, scientists like Galileo and Bruno do the excellent work they did, all humanity changes its perceptions. We are better for having scientists continue to get together and belligerently test all assumptions and ideas in the search of what is provable and real.

            When theists get together, they are only looking for God. They are not looking for any other answers and do not accept any other answers. When they are in groups together they make sure that their god is the one that is properly being understood and worshipped. These meetings you describe all involve a clear description of what appropriate believers look like or do not look like. At Clear River Church in Lafayette, IN, a truly holy family was considered to be one that did not have a fancy house or like “granite countertops,” and eschewed all trappings of wealth in that way. When these groups get it into their heads that gods are calling for burkas, lack of wealth, denial of science, subjugation of women in the form of submission to husbands, they not only hold followers back from comfort or progress, in cases where religion runs government, they hold entire nations back. Right now, in our country, politicians like Mike Pence and Donald Trump are pushing agendas that run against women’s health, drug rehabilitation in the form of needle exchange programs, civil rights and freedom for all people, and in the form of the proven case for global warming, against the ultimate survival of humanity. They are science deniers, prejudiced discriminators (Please recall the horror of RFRA in Indiana), women’s rights deniers (Trump, “If my daughter were sexually harassed on the job I would tell her just to quit”), and Christians. Trump’s newfound love of Jesus is pushing an agenda that is truly horrific and scary for Mexicans and Muslims in this nation and Pence’s true faith in Jesus legitimizes it all for people who were on the fence about Trump. I say that when theists start getting together to forge their faith in their minds in the form of indoctrination, we all take major steps backwards as a people.

            

The Biggest Crime

            I was indoctrinated as a child, there is no doubt about that now. I recently watched a series of videos on YouTube called Theramin Trees. In a video entitled, “Grooming Minds," The author of the video explains how indoctrination actually breaks a child’s mind. When the child finally breaks through the indoctrination at some point in his future, his mind shatters into a million pieces and must be reassembled. In the middle of this tedious and awful process, the sufferer just is at odds with life. My experience was horrendous. At first, there was a free and wonderful feeling of being mentally unencumbered, then came neurotic breaking points, then the phase that we call thrashing, right now I am sitting at a complete mind rebuild and it is not simple. That list of painful phases is enough for me to say that the methodical indoctrinating, or as we say, “brainwashing,” is the biggest crime that churches commit and has done to me personally, the greatest harm.

            Over the years there are questions that give you pause. You tear into the Bible. You ask your pastor, your spouse, your best friends, your mom. The doubts that start as little questions becomes a crushing indictment of your personal character. You must be lacking faith. “Are you tempted by sin?” Where are all these questions coming from you know the answers to these questions. “I taught you that when you were young, why are you doubting now?” You start learning that the Bible was chosen by men from a stack of scrolls. They were guided by greed, not God. When all the puzzle pieces click into place and you see that there is no Jesus, just this sad collections of stories, you see that all of your nagging questions are answered. In one complete picture pieced together you see it all so plainly that all the faith you held in your heart vanishes with a newfound love for facts and reality. The freedom that comes is priceless.

            Your mind starts to soar and the possibilities are endless until you realize, “I have to tell people.” The dread starts to build as you sit down with your partner, call your parents, and quit the now pointless Bible studies. The freedom does not last long. You start getting irrationally angry at completely innocuous things. Men in suits make you want to punch them, because the pastors that hurt you the worst wore suits. You don’t trust people that carry Bibles and wear crosses. You irrationally start thinking all of them are judging you and you can’t help but be confirmed that they are because they start leaving WHOLESALE. In the abandonment phase, while you are tripping over stupid things that scare you, you start mind thrashing.

            You start seeing things as arbitrary and what are “REAL” morals, anyway? Up until this point the neuroses were just fun and games. Up until that point it felt like small papercuts of brokenness. The thrashing that comes from having to figure the world out yourself is like setting your mind on fire. Fueled with the phantom of guilt that was never yours and that you are no longer trying to own. You realize everything that is broken in society comes from this phony kowtowing to (borrow a phrase from my fiancé) false, broken, disgusting, panty sniffing morals that have no bearing on any real issues such as hunger, injustice, equality, and preserving the globe we live on.  By now, the mind fire is tearing through you and you long for the days when you just wanted to throat punch suit wearers. Now you want to line up everyone that says fornicators have no morals and light them on fire. Then you realize that solves nothing and is really disturbing, but you can’t stop feeling like it might be a viable solution. Lifelong monogamy has never worked. But we keep cramming it down everyone’s throats because religion said so. It is time to start reevaluating. Being violently angry and loud is not helpful and can be alienating. So you strive to be kinder.

            You sit down with your shiny, new, hard-forged, all-encompassing morality and do your best to take your tattered, charred mind and rebuild it. You stop thinking about what you don’t want and start listing all that you DO want and building your life around that. The people you left behind start talking, but at this point, you don’t fucking care. You think about what really is lovely, good, and pure. With pain you realize it is none of the stuff you were raised with and your new life looks much more happy and moral because it has none of that nonsense in it and is filled with infinitely more. You sit back and look at what you have done over the course of a year and are well pleased. Sure, you have walked through hell, but it was worth every painful agonizing step.

            You realize that the intense, psychological brainwashing you received as a child did this to you. You swear that everyone you meet will hear about what you have endured and you will do anything to keep others from being treated this way. Children are too young to be forced into making lifelong decisions that will tear their minds apart. If the truths of religion are as strong as the believers say that they are, the children will believe as adults. But we all know how much believers actually believe the crap they teach. It is clearly seen in the numbers of divorces and affairs they have. Seen in the way the treat doubt as the worst crime on the planet. Believers know that their belief is empty assuaging of false guilt that only leads to manipulation and nothing more.

After the Love is Gone

            

            I was hopeful. I was scared. I thought I was free. I thought leaving the church was going to end all of the abuses that went with it. I slept in on Sunday, I happily ignored everything that came from any pastors, I stopped looking over my shoulders, and really started to dig into this whole mess called religion and faith. I started deconstructing my faith completely and ended up an atheist.

            What happened next really blew my mind. I was completely hoping to be utterly free from the abuse I had endured from the church and its members. This was my expectation and desire. However, the persecution from the church was just beginning. First off, my friends left me nearly wholesale. I love the notable exceptions very much. Secondly, in communities where church hurt was discussed, my atheist posts were coming under fire. Thirdly, I was being called out in public. Fourthly, I am being told I have no morals because I no longer adhere to Judaic Law

            My friends from church were my family. I watched their kids, they watched mine, I filled their freezers, took them meals, bought them groceries, and showed up anytime I was invited. I did my part to really live out the Christian faith that taught me to consider my fellow Christians as part of my family. I worked hard at it. I wanted them all to feel like they were in my tribe and my heart. The minute I stopped believing and expressed doubt, they left me completely alone. Again, save the few who stayed that I can count on one hand that proved to me beyond shadow that they truly are ride or die friends. To you guys, I love you.

            I joined groups of mixed faiths. Some Christians, some agnostics, and some atheists comprised the groups. I was invited to share my journey into the brain sheer the that is leaving the church and for many our religion. Things were going very well and I thought I might have found new homes. Then the Christians started in on my posts. I was so hurt because I felt like I was in church again. Yet, these were the groups where they were some of the only people who knew intimately what leaving felt like. I slowed way down on those groups and showed hesitation.

            I started getting public notice. I went to the Indiana State Fair and saw that some really great ladies donated the time and supplies to do a face painting booth where 100% of the profits went straight back to the kids. I wanted some face paint and I love making donations. I looked at the wall and saw that I could get my face framed with rainbow hearts. RFRA (You know, Mike Pence’s right to discriminate against gays law?) had been passed, then been shamed globally, and them edited to say, “Discrimination really isn’t ok.” So, I put the rainbow hearts on my face in a show of solidarity. As soon as I stepped out of the booth I heard an old woman’s voice ring out from a church booth, “YOU ARE GOING TO HELL, YOU QUEER LOVER!!” All I could think to say was, “THEN I’LL SEE YOU THERE, YOU OLD SINNER!!” I kept walking while she sputtered. Truly if you want to try living as an atheist, wear a Christian novelty shirt for a week, then the very next week, wear a shirt that simply says, “Atheist” on the front of it. I would love it if you would report back to me your findings.
              This very week, I came under fire from my family. I divorced my husband of 17 and a half years because the marriage just could not be repaired. We went to counselling; I considered the kids. It just did not work out. I filed in January. For me, that was the absolute end. I had counted to three and said my piece it was done. Very soon after, I fell in love. Now, He lives in England and I in the USA, so, by nature, we have to take it slowly. The emotions grew between us and I found myself on a plane to England while my ex and children went to the beach in July. I stayed with my love and I loved him. Upon my return, I found myself very much so judged. A family member of mine yelled at me in front of my children that because I had loved the man I am now engaged to be married to, I have no more morals. She said that it was proof I have no morals—loudly—in front of my own children. In that moment, I removed her emotionally from my life. Yes, my own and real family has now turned their back.

               In conclusion, I will say that I never once experienced persecution as a Christian. My rights were never taken away and I was never once put down for my faith here in the United States of America. The first time in my life when I was called names and systematically attacked for my beliefs is when I stopped having faith and became an atheist. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.